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Serial Killers

Many of you are aware that laughter is one of the best medicines that can boost the state of mind. But how many of us know that worries and miseries can harm our total health. The more you become depressed and worried, the worst your health is affected and so does the interaction with your near and dear ones. 

Scientific studies have proven beyond doubt that laughter and happiness have a positive effect where as sadness, worries and despair have adverse effects on the life span of any living being. Neither joy nor sorrow come from within, but is the result of external turbulence. However, some of the agonies are unprecedented like accidents and natural calamities. At the same time, there are voluntarily chosen ones like the emotional turmoil generating TV serials/series. As the saying goes, too much of anything is harmful and so are these. In another few minutes, I will try to prove, with the help of facts and figures, how these emotionally disturbing tear generators can become “serial killers”. 

            Consider the case of an average family that views the idiot box. The bread winner is mostly busy with his day’s work and hardly put in any effort to watch it after a day’s work at office. The kids, back from school have hefty homework and are usually denied cartoons that bring in color and imagination to the mind of a growing child. The remaining members are the housewives and the old aged. Now you know why majority of the TV serials are shot with crying characters and pouring out tears. It appears that there are, at least, three channels airing such serials at a time. If the family is of a multilingual nature, then the number of serials gets multiplied by the number of languages the family can understand.

The calculation I have taken into consideration is trimmed down to the lowest. The peak viewing hours are often from 6pm to 9pm on weekdays and it becomes more on weekends. Taking a rough estimate, we can approximate 3 hours viewing per day (I am sure its even more than that). 

Out of this, 1½ hours are eye rubbing (filled with tears) TV serials and 1½ hours are good entertainers which hardly any housewife cares about as they are addicted to the “family enthrallers”. 

            From the 1½ hours, we set aside ½ an hour for advertisement. Have you ever wondered why these different ads are shown in between these serials!!!! ‘Cause various companies have sponsored the programs?????  Well, you guessed wrong. The sole intention of these properly spaced ads is to prevent the old aged from going into a stroke or coma while viewing these depressing serials. At the end, we have a total of 1hr viewing. Now for some scientific facts:

  • If you are positive and happy then you get your life span extended by 1 day (if you do not watch such serials)
  • If you cry, get depressed or turns into a bad- mood, it shortens your life span by at least 1 hour. 

So a total of 1 year’s viewing gives you 365 hours of non stop worries, and mind it, they do make sure to watch the next episode even if the day’s food is not cooked (no exaggerations whatsoever).

One day’s viewing gives a reduction in life span = 60 minutes 

                                        Therefore 1 year’s viewing   = 365 units (1 hr/day)

               Therefore 1 year’s reduction in life span = (365*60) minutes

                                                                                                 = 365 hrs

                                                                                                 = (365/24) days

                                                                                                 = 15.2 days

 

The average life expectancy of a human being is 70 years.

                         After 67 years, the loss of years    = (67*15.2)/365

                                                                                                Approx 3 years

If loosing 3 years of your life is a luxury you can afford then you just have wasted your time.

Now I leave it for you to decide.

Those who long to live, live longer…

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How many times have you sent out an email and then said !@$%#!@. I  forgot the attachment again!!

Dont worry. Gmail can now save you from such embarassing moments.

If you try to send an email using gmail where in which your content has something like “Kindly find attached with this mail ….” and you forget to attach your document Gmail “automagically” alerts you. Check out the screenshot if you dont believe me.

Gmail Attachment Alert

Gmail Attachment Alert

And this is called “Thinking out of the Box”. Imagine, there have been thick clients such as Outlook and their likes for so so long, but such a small ingenious thought and thats what is called creative thinking. Hats off  “Google Guys”!!

Enjoy,

Franklin

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Vendor : You can use this “CANNON” to fire moving objects and its extremely powerful

Customer : I only need a “STRAW” to drink juice !!

Vendor : Well you can disable the features in a “CANNON” and use it as “STRAW”

Customer : In that case I might as well use a “MISSLE” or a “ROCKET” !!

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I work on different projects which require me to perform very small, small and medium sized tasks which comprise a monolithic project just as any IT project out there would be. So what’s the big deal then?

I have seen people who design their work on paper be it very small or large and those who get into action right away. I fall into the latter group. I consider this to be a feather in my hat. This habit or skill, when I look at it now, are attributes that have creped into my nature of work partly due to my supervising body which wants results Yesterday and not Now or Tomorrow.

Until recently, I started noticing one of my colleagues who would jolt down even the slightest details of the task to perform before getting into action. Then with one steady stroke, as that of a master painter, she would complete her activities with no room for error. Integrating these modules would be a piece of cake.

On the contrary, I would have partly completed my activity with its main pieces in place and the results would also be there, feeling so proud of what I have achieved. In an IT project a partly completed project is equivalent to an uncompleted one. Integrating with these modules would be a tight rope walk. Endless debugging would follow during this integration process.

No more is this a feather in my hat, rather a scar on my face. I can’t emphasize enough the importance of Designing to the smallest details on paper before you start to act on your task. I am now trying by best to unlearn this behaviour. Hope I succeed. You might get a noticeable advantage in the beginning, however in the long run it’s always the tortoise than wins the race and not the hare.

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This is just ease the download of the Offline Desktop application. It took me some time to download it from the website. So I have downloaded it myself and hosted it on this page. Step to follow to get the Software Application for Emirates Identity Card.

Please check the pre-requisites before downloading

1) Try to get it from EIDA website http://www.emiratesid.ae/html/english2/Offline.html

2)Right Click HERE and Save file to the file system

3)Rename file(pre-registration.jpg)  to pre-registration.msi

4)Double click and Install this file

5)Run the file

UPDATE

———–

The new location is here

http://www.emiratesid.ae/html/english2/pre-reg-app.html

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Today I had one of the worst experiences with the abuse of technology. For the past couple of weeks I have been rigorously trying to apply for the Emirates Identity Card which has been mandated by Emirates Identity Authority of United Arab Emirates. I have to say it’s a truly futuristic and highly commendable venture from the authorities. Every professional expatriate is supposed to have one. I foresee in the near future it will be integrated with all banks and form the basis of a Social Security System there by ensuring a nation wide credit system and much more. This initiative was a very good long term strategy which unfortunately lacked proper planning.

However my experiences in trying to procure an EID card have been quite bitter and painful in the royal way. I have been trying for the past few weeks to apply through their official website and fill the pre-registration form but in vain. You could get a cup of tea while the first page loads up (which is usual for high traffic sites). If it’s your lucky day and the page loads up by the time you get your cup of tea then definitely the time is 12:30 AM early in the morning.

The whole registration process comprises four pages. Now I fill the first page and try to submit, which gives me a validation check saying “Please choose your city & and street”. But again these are only optional fields. Then I notice that I was using the most popular browser in the world, FireFox(My mistake). So I switched to Internet Explorer (which accepts any junk.. thanks Microsoft) and the form submits to the second page. Voila, you get a page not found error. Submit again, once, twice then thrice. Luckily I get it now.

On the second page, you are requested to enter you residence permit number. Now this is a number of the format XXX/XXXX/XXXXXXX. However, by the time you enter the ‘/’ the whole content in the text field just disappears into thin air. Was this suggestion given by David Copperfield or David Blane? Hats off to whoever thought of this.

I would rather not elaborate on the third page. This is going to be an adventurous trip for the layman. So all the best and try and see if you know which part of the country you are in (If at all you find it).

Fourth page asks for your qualification. Now when you move on to your profession, it starts to get confusing again. There are tons of professions, and I being a Computer Engineer made me fall in none. Finally I had to satisfy my self with just “Professional” and as a job description, I key in “Sr. Software Engineer”.

Needless to say, once I complete all the four pages and reach the last Application Form preview section, I see that the details I have entered so far is not what I see on the last page. I see a totally new Occupation, someone else mother’s name is there, my company name is now “Sr. Software Engineer” and the rest I better leave it to all of you to figure it out. Don’t worry, its OK says the Call Center Executive. Don’t trust me, then give them a call and see!!!

If my memory is not wrong, this intricate system has been in place for more than a year now. Mind it; this is only the registration system we have been talking about.

You have only seen the tip of the iceberg still. The appointment system is something I still was not able to conquer so far. Hence I gave in and went to one of the centers. Needless to mention the bitter encounters I had with the Emirates Post counter staff, after a long treacherous trip I reached the venue and guess what I see!!! There is ONE kiosk machine (It’s a Touch sensitive enabled device wrapped over a normal computer) with half of its machinery outside for the convenience of the Security Staff so that it can be restarted at ease. At first I though it was my responsibility to restart the machine when it was my turn (If I could make it). Fortunately the Security Staff felt it their privileged responsibility to restart the machine (Yes restart the Computer and you can see….”Windows is Restarting…”) after each Appointment request was generated. That’s right after each request was generated they would restart the Kiosk Machine. Just some information to help those who will be going to get the Appointment from the Kiosk machine: Once you have filled in your mobile number you will be asked to call a standard mobile number something that starts with 0501062… Don’t be surprised when you hear the voice message “The mobile number you are calling is currently switched off…..!!!!” Its alright. Now that’s the intelligent system telling you with its ESP (Extra Sensory Perception) to call the Security Staff and ask him to restart the Kiosk Machine.

Fortunately I have got an appointment date now and am waiting for more action. More on that later. Until then, I shall cap my pen!!!

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Journey of Mayhem

Today we start are journey of mayhem, learning and sharing our experiences in the ever growing field of technology. This blog was born with a purpose in mind to provide a centralized repository of knowledge which can be easily accessed and counted on at desperate times. We would like to share as we too have paddled through the same stormy sea of trepidation and in turn learn a thing or two. Our final note to end this pandemonium:

“The Blog is mightier than the Pen!!!”

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